Terrible Horrible No-Good Very Bad Week

EmilyRandom stories meant for a good laugh., Unfiltered NotesLeave a Comment

Have you ever had ” one of those days “, where you are on top of the world one minute… and then face down and confused the next?

Like, when you were a kid and beat out all the other neighborhood punks in a bike race. Throwing your hands up in victory… only to go flying over the handle bars of your bike,  developing a deep respect for what asphalt can do for your face?

Well, I have been having one of those weeks!

The worst part is… I did it to my self!  Well, at the very least, I set my self up for epic failure when I foolishly pulled an all night-er last Monday  to “wrap up”some home work.

By all night-er, I mean I never went to bed at all, the sun went down, kids went to bed, husband went to bed, husband woke up, kids woke up and I was still plugging away on my research like a moron.

To make it worse, I stubbornly and stupidly hit the gym for my normal morning work out after dropping my daughter of at pre-school.  Then I chose to shower and get ready for class while the girls napped… Now, a smarter woman, would have snatched a quick nap herself before her evening class.  But No,  not me, I charged on foolishly thinking to myself;

“wow, I am really impressed with how alert I feel! Ha, I am not tiered at all!”

Then came a painfully LONG and boring evening grad class where hit a wall, a brick wall.  I fell asleep, dropping my lapfull of skittles that crashed and clattered along the lenolium floor with a highly unnecessary amount of noise in the other wise silent classroom.

Yep, nothing says “I have my crap together”, like jerking your head up like a startled ostrich and frantically wiping sleep drool from my face as I debated ” do I pick up the skittles or pretend like it waste me?” ( mind you every one is staring at me and chuckling by now).

This was the beginning of my terrible, horrible, no good very bad week! The kind of week where every though I had was met with a sharp ” its a shame”.

“It’s a shame,” I still have a research proposal to polish and submit , a constructivist e-learning environment simulation to develop and the professor for my third graduate class, thinks it is cute to randomly change the syllabus and assign every one a 3 page reflection on how important her course is.

“It’s a shame,” I stayed up all night monday night pretending I was still in my 20’s and invincible … because, I am 30 and my baby woke up with a fussy stomach and my pre-schooler needs three shoe boxes for a school project and my husband just reminded me he will be out-of-town  for the rest of the week and life charges forward with no “pause” or ” wait… I am not ready” button.

“It’s a shame,”  I still manage to underestimated the role of a full-time mother and wife and often forget that I am,  indeed, only human.

The kind of week, where Wednesday rolls around, and I still have ZERO school work done. The kind of week where I have an accumulative 5 hours of sleep come Wednesday… because I have been up all night tending to a pukey little love and frantically scrubbing carpets, in the short moments my poor love can fall asleep before waking up sick again.

The kind of week, where I feel like the worst momma ever because I have to disappoint my big girl when I tell her, she will have to miss the shoe box science craft at school( that she has been talking about all week) because, I just can’t stuff her sick and puking sister in a car seat and take her to school.

The kind of week, where in that exact moment…

where I had to let my sweet big girl down…

her sister turns in my arms and pukes on the side of her face and head…

launching my typically composed big girl,  into a tantrum of  understandable disgust, dryheaves and shrill cries about how ” wrong and unfair” this whole day is.  All the while, flicking puke all over my kitchen, as it runs down her arm and I struggle to stifle my own inapropriat giggles, tears and gag reflex.

The kind of week, where I got nothing done … beyond bathing all the miserable girls (myself  included),  Soothing one sick baby and one disappointed heart with a cuddle session and Disney movie marathon… while I desperately glancing at my lap top, painfully aware of the mounting pile of neglected school work.

The kind of week, where I think I can see the sun peeking through the clouds on Satrday, when my  little love is on the mend and  her big sitter has forgiven her for puking on her face and me for letting her down (Only after, I did a making up at home shoe box science craft).

The kind of week, where I work like a maniac during the kids naps and after they go to bed, to slam through/catch up on my home work.  Where monday rolls around and I put the finishing touches on my research proposal and presentation. I pull out my professional  clothes, handling them like a delicate treasure some one has allowed me to borrow.

The kind of week where I smile to myself and remember how good it feels to have a reason to wear a pencil skirt and I want to throw up my hands and say;

BOOM, world!  Now, this is how it is done! Family needs met, Check.  Work done and submitted, one minute before the deadline, Check.  Dressed like a boss and ready to dominate this presentations, Check!!”

The kind of week where, despite overcoming the weeks challenges, my victory dance is short lived and I soon find myself flying over the handle bars of my bike, when I let my nerves get the better of me while presenting my research proposal.

Don’t get me wrong, I sounded composed, my timing was impeccable, the audience was engaged.  But then,  I dropped the presentation ” clicker”, Trying not to break the connection I had with my audience… I clumsily stepped backward and caught my heel on the chair behind me and CRASHED backwards, heels over head, behind the presentation podium. A loud and defeated expletive may or may not have escaped my lips in this exact moment.

The kind of week where I find myself  hiding behind the podium fighting back irrational tears of defeat and contemplating crawling out the door … a meager 4 feet behind me.  My master plan interrupted abruptly by the sound of a slow clap…

Yes, some one actually started a slow clap!! Feeling the heat flush my cheeks I began to gather myself and figure out a modest way of getting back on my feet.

The kind of week where I peered over the podium to find the entire room had risen to give me a standing ovation. GAHHHHck!!! Why did I have to be born so clumsy?!?!?!

The kind of week where, despite it all… I took a deep breath, straightened my skirt and took a bow, the room erupted in laughter.   At least I was born with a healthy sense of humor!!

Well, at least the week has come full circle and is officially OVER!

My awesome dad send me the link to this video today. It couldn’t have been better timing!


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